My period of active suicidal ideation was about two years. If you haven’t been there, it is tough to explain. But I genuinely thought my family would be in a better place if I took my own life (thanks to a life insurance payout).
One thing that got me through was a constant reminder from my psychiatrist that my family and especially my two kids – ages 15 and 12 at the time – would be devastated for life. And I realized at some level that suicide would be an admission of defeat.
“Don’t ever tell your kids that you gave up.”